There may be a reason for their off-putting behavior. Before judging the actions of another, remember that most people are just doing the best they can. We can never truly know what another person is going through.
Not everyone will be your cup of tea and that is OK! And, goodness knows, we will never all agree! Decide to accept others as they are, by respecting your differences and acknowledging that their personal experiences, values, and beliefs are valid. Put yourself in their shoes for a moment and try to imagine the circumstances that may have led them to be the way that they are.Īdopt an attitude of tolerance. Rather than making a snap judgement about someone, ask questions to try to understand them. You may find that your thought was influenced by someone else’s opinion or belief.īe curious. Ask yourself why you are making this judgement and if it is valid and fair. Your thought is not a fact - just because you think it does not make it true. You may be surprised to find how many times this is the case. Our judgements are often a projection of our own fears and insecurities, so reflect on your current state of mind to determine if your thought was an emotional response to a personal trigger. Fortunately, we can learn to control our thoughts and actions, and thus our judgements, through practicing awareness, acceptance, and mindfulness.ĥ Tips For Managing Unnecessary JudgementĪdopting a non-judgmental response to your own thoughts and feelings is not always an easy task, so when judgmental thoughts creep up, remember to…. In fact, studies have shown that unnecessary judgement increases levels of stress, anxiety, and feelings of depression. The negative feelings and actions that can result from unnecessary judgement can have a significant impact on our psychological well-being. However, judging Karen for her Facebook post is not a threat to you in any way and it just causes more stress for you, people around you and Karen if you decide to say something.” The example I share with clients often is- Let's say you are walking down a dark alley at night and see someone you label as "sketchy looking" so you get out of that situation, that may have kept you out of danger and is healthy at that time. The problem exists when these judgements are not factual and/or not necessary. Also, in today's world, there is a place for judgement (and judges) on right versus wrong. In history, if a tribe member is going against tribe beliefs or putting the tribe in danger, judgements were made and that person was exiled- which, in turn, kept everyone safe and alive. Sometimes they can keep us safe, and some say that they exist to keep us safe. HCBH Clinical Director, Tiffany Hogue explains, Good and necessary judgements are made by using our instinct, knowledge, and intuition to discern legitimacy, assess risk, and make intelligent decisions. We rely on our own good judgement, and the good judgement of others, to keep us safe – physically, mentally, and emotionally. It is our nature to make judgements and they are necessary. You might even be judging yourself, at this very moment, wondering if you are a bad person because you have so many judgmental thoughts?! LOL! Don’t worry, you’re probably not! 😉 Think about your day so far - what judgements have you made in just the last 4 hours?
We even make snap judgements about people we don’t even know, based solely on the way they look, act, or speak. We make a judgement every time we decide something is right or wrong, good or bad, should happen or should not happen. “I look fat in this outfit”…” That jogger should be wearing reflective clothing” … “That person is driving like an idiot” … “Karen’s Facebook post is inappropriate” … “John talks too much”. We judge the simplest of things without cognizance …. From the time we wake up in the morning until we close our eyes at night, our thoughts are filled with opinions, values, and judgements on what is right or wrong, based on our own morals and beliefs. Whether we care to admit it or not, we all have judgmental thoughts.
Opinions on politics, world events, climate change, health directives and more, await your consumption.
JUDGEMENT VS JUDGMENT TV
Just turn on the TV or check your social media feed and you will find the views of others displayed before you like an all you can eat buffet.
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